My cheapo Walmart sunglasses lasted a whole two weeks before their tragic death. Farewell, good Foster Grants; I knew thee well for the time we spent together. How did they die, you ask? Were they dropped? Did they crack under the stresses of unwarranted abuse? Did a meteorite slingshot around Mars and tumble to earth at such a trajectory that they obliterated them? Did a duck steal them? The answer to all of the previous questions is no. So you really want to know, eh? All right, prepare yourself....
I put them on top of my head.
That's it. That's all I did. I shifted them up so I could see inside a building, and when I brought them back down, they disintegrated. They broke by doing something that sunglasses should do on an everyday basis. Not once did I drop them, sit on them, or abuse them in any way. In fact, I took special care to make sure that they did not fall into the fates previously described. Normally, people would say, "It's no big deal, just go get a new pair." However, there is more to this story than just one pair of sunglasses. Every year for the past 5-10 years, I have had to buy a new pair of sunglasses at least once over the course of said years. But it's not the buying that's the problem; it's why I have to buy them in the first place. Now that said, I do not just throw around sunglasses willy-nilly and leave them in backpacks to be jostled around with much heavier things. It's always something dumb. It's like they all have a meeting and discuss ways to elude me or force me to buy another one of their friends. What did I do to them? Why can't I hold onto a pair for more than a year at a time? The world may never know.
